Understanding Consensual Non-Monogamy: It's Only Weird If You Make It Weird
Oct
23
7:30 PM19:30

Understanding Consensual Non-Monogamy: It's Only Weird If You Make It Weird

Have you ever been curious about being with more than one partner - consensually? Swinging? Poly? Monogamish? Open? As a couple? Together? Apart? Please join us as we explore what it takes to be in a consensual non-monogamy relationship. Understanding communication, intimacy, basic mutual understandings/ground rules, lessons learned, and jealousy. We will also explore how relationships evolve and transform over time and how to work and grow with the changes. We will also answer any questions you have. Unite not untie. 

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FAN: Communicating Effectively Through Disagreement
Nov
9
7:00 PM19:00

FAN: Communicating Effectively Through Disagreement

We all have disagreements with others. It’s part of life. We can’t all like the same thing or be into the same thing. There is a part of us that think that our way is the only way. Or if someone doesn’t agree with us then clearly it’s their problem. We also spend more time trying to convince someone and what we end up doing is pushing them farther away. We don’t stop to listen to what they have to say. We are so busy justifying or rationalizing our point of view that we don’t recognize that the other person is valid in how they feel. And it’s also ok to have two different points of views. Crazy concept, I know. ;)

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SELF-SABOTAGE: Why Do We Do It?
Nov
14
7:30 PM19:30

SELF-SABOTAGE: Why Do We Do It?

Is there something you are doing that is sabotaging you? Unhealthy habit? Negative self-talk? When we self-sabotage, it's like we don't believe that we deserve awesomeness. Or maybe that we deserve the negativity. Or sometimes it's the Impostor Syndrome where we think, "Who am I? There is someone that is better or smarter or more qualified, etc. so why even try." We close that door before we even attempt to see what's behind it.  We think about 25 steps ahead instead of dealing with right now. We can't think about Step 25 if we haven't dealt with Step 1. 

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PROCRASTINATION: "As soon as..." or "Someday..."
Dec
12
7:30 PM19:30

PROCRASTINATION: "As soon as..." or "Someday..."

Are you putting things off? Saying that you'll do it "someday" or "as soon as..."? Especially this time of year, it's quite common. It's the end of year. It's cold and it gets dark early. The holidays are upon us and "we just don't have the time." This is what I hear a lot. Not having the time is a common phrase I hear ALL THE TIME. We all have the same 24 hours in a day. EVERYONE! It's not that we don't have the time. We are choosing to not make the time. Big difference. The original statement makes it seem like it's out of our control. The second statement is about ownership and how WE are the ones that create our time. Sometimes it's about starting with 5 minutes. Five minutes is better than no minutes. 

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FEELING (out of) CONTROL
Oct
17
7:30 PM19:30

FEELING (out of) CONTROL

Have you ever said this?

  • "I feel out of control."

  • "Why am I doing this?"

  • "What is going on?"

  • "It's like I can't stop."

  • "Why do I sabotage myself like this?"

  • "I gotta get my shit together."

We have all had this feeling of being out of control. We feel like we can't stop. Or maybe that we don't know how to start. It's frustrating. It's annoying. You are not alone. 

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Special NYC Event: FEAR: Of Failure, Of Success, Of The Unknown
Oct
10
6:00 PM18:00

Special NYC Event: FEAR: Of Failure, Of Success, Of The Unknown

That dreaded fear. It holds us back from trying new things. It stops us from doing things. It's debilitating. FEAR - of failure. What if I fail and it doesn't work out? FEAR - of success. What if I succeed and I don't know what to do? FEAR - of the unknown. For me, that's the scariest of them all. The unknown? What? Who wants to deal with not feeling secure in our choices? That sucks. 

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MONEY: Know Your Worth
Sep
19
7:30 PM19:30

MONEY: Know Your Worth

How comfortable are you with asking for what you are worth? Do you know what you are worth? Do you ask for raises at your job? Do you know how to ask for a raise? Or are you a freelancer and do you know what to charge? How do you feel about speaking up and owning it when it comes to money? 

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JUSTIFICATIONS & RATIONALIZATIONS: We All Make Them
Aug
15
7:30 PM19:30

JUSTIFICATIONS & RATIONALIZATIONS: We All Make Them

"Well... I had a long day."

  • "I'm really tired."

  • "This weather (or traffic or public transit) was shit today."

  • "I'll deal with it tomorrow or Monday or after summer or in the new year."

  • "I don't have time right now."

  • "I'll deal with it later."

  • "I guess this is just the way it is."

  • "I don't wanna..."

  • "It's too hard."

  • "I don't know how."

  • "It's too much money."

  • "It's out of my comfort zone."

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FEAR: Of Failure, Of Success, Of The Unknown
Jul
18
7:30 PM19:30

FEAR: Of Failure, Of Success, Of The Unknown

That dreaded fear. It holds us back from trying new things. It stops us from doing things. It's debilitating. FEAR - of failure. What if I fail and it doesn't work out? FEAR - of success. What if I succeed and I don't know what to do? FEAR - of the unknown. For me, that's the scariest of them all. The unknown? What? Who wants to deal with not feeling secure in our choices? That sucks. 

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CONFIDENCE: Where Do We Find It? (Special NYC Event)
Jul
11
6:00 PM18:00

CONFIDENCE: Where Do We Find It? (Special NYC Event)

CONFIDENCE: When we have it, we feel on top of the world. Like nothing can stop us. Then it has the ability to disappear in a heartbeat. We can't be confident all the time. That's not how these things work. Some days we have it. And some days we don't.

DOUBTS: Yeah, they suck. But here's the deal, we ALL have them. We ALL have that moment of questioning ourselves and what we are doing. Relationships. Jobs. Love. Life. I don't know, EVERYTHING!

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AGING: We All Do It
Jun
20
7:30 PM19:30

AGING: We All Do It

AGING. Yep, we all do it. Yet sometimes we don't want to do it nor do we want to admit our age. Whatever age we are, we ask the question - When did this happen?! or How did this happen?!  And we all age differently. While we all do it, many of us "fight" the aging process. At least that's what society wants women to do. How many products are out on the market that are anti-aging? Why are we "fighting" the aging process?! It's like keeping a tree from growing. What's up with that? And that word "fight," it invokes this feeling that we have to be mad at aging. Then from mad, we get angry. Then after we are angry, we start the fight. All I can picture is waving my fists crazily in the air.... at nothing. Because aging just is. It's a thing that happens. That we do. And hey, I get it. I buy the creams and potions and lotions too. I'm part of this society.

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OVERTHINKING: Why Do We Do It?
May
16
7:30 PM19:30

OVERTHINKING: Why Do We Do It?

Should I do it? Should I not? Well... maybe. I don't know. I want to. But what if it doesn't work out? What if I don't like it? What if it was a waste of time? What if I make the wrong decision? What if I fail? What if. What if. What if. 

Does any of that sound familiar? Have you ever talked yourself into and out of something in a matter of minutes, maybe even seconds? I call that cycle of thoughts - the hamster wheel. It's just spinning and spinning and it's not going anywhere. We all do it. I do it too. I can talk myself in and out of something so fast. I can honestly see both sides of doing and not doing something. I can justify it all. That's what happens when we live inside our heads. Imagine what could happen if we just made a decision and went with it. How much time would we save? Actual time. And mental exhaustion from hanging out in that hamster wheel.

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4-YEAR ANNIVERSARY! COURAGE & CONFIDENCE: Finding Them
Apr
17
7:30 PM19:30

4-YEAR ANNIVERSARY! COURAGE & CONFIDENCE: Finding Them

***Normally the ABOUT WOMEN monthly events are on the 3rd Wednesday of the month. Due to a schedule change, this particular event will be on the 3rd Tuesdayof the month for this event only. Thank you for being flexible. 

OH YEAH! It's the 4-year anniversary of the ABOUT WOMEN events. Having different convHERsations each month. Helping each other out. Listening to each other. Not feeling alone. There will be FREE CAKE! And balloons. You can't have a party without balloons. 

Courage and confidence are inside of all of us. Sometimes they peek their head out; sometimes they stay deep inside and only make an appearance every once in a while. And when we have C&C, we feel on top of the world. Like nothing can stop us. Then it has the ability to disappear in a heartbeat. We can't be confident and courageous all the time. That's not how these things work. 

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SHAME, GUILT, & DENIAL: What's The Difference? Working WITH Them, NOT Against Them
Mar
28
7:30 PM19:30

SHAME, GUILT, & DENIAL: What's The Difference? Working WITH Them, NOT Against Them

I feel that women (including myself) feel guilty for a lot of things - - we have work guilt, mom guilt, I'm not doing enough guilt, I'm not working enough guilt, I'm working too much guilt, etc. Then let's throw some shame in on there which is similar but not. We feel like we are not worthy or don't deserve greatness. And then of course, there is denial. Let's just bury it, not talk about it, ignore it, and maybe, just maybe it'll all go away. If we don't deal with it, then it's not there. 

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COMFORT ZONE: Being In It & Getting Out Of It
Jan
17
7:30 PM19:30

COMFORT ZONE: Being In It & Getting Out Of It

What is your comfort zone? Is it easier to stay there than to do something different? It’s called comfort for a reason - it’s comfortable - it’s what we know. But what if that was what is holding us back from trying something new? I feel we are either in "BINGE MODE" or "CLEANSE MODE." All or nothing. There has to be a happy medium in between.

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Insecurities: We All Have Them
Nov
15
7:30 PM19:30

Insecurities: We All Have Them

Insecurities. Seriously - EVERYONE has them. We are all scared of something or fear something. We have doubts and uncertainties. We can be indecisive. We are hesitant on making decisions. What if we pick the wrong one? What if we make the wrong decision? At times, our insecurities can hold us back. It can be debilitating.  

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OUR LIVES: What’s Really Holding Us Back?
Oct
18
7:30 PM19:30

OUR LIVES: What’s Really Holding Us Back?

We all have that thing in life that is holding us back. Most of the time it is OURSELVES that is holding us back. WE are the ones that are not making awesomeness happen. WE are the ones saying we are not ready or good enough or smart enough or we don’t have enough time or not enough money or [place your reasoning here]. Here’s the deal - we are never going to be ready. We are never going to feel like it. We have to just jump in and do it.

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ART exhibit - question of the day
Sep
8
7:00 PM19:00

ART exhibit - question of the day

  • 2316 West North Avenue Chicago, IL, 60647 United States (map)
  • Google Calendar ICS

In my Facebook group - Nikki Nigl's ABOUT WOMEN - I have been asking a Question of the Day (QOTD) every day since November 14, 2015. This art exhibit will have every single question since that first day. I have not missed a day. I will be showcasing each and every QOTD from November 14, 2015 - September 8, 2017. 600+ questions! What up!

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DENIAL: Being In It & Getting Out Of It
Aug
16
7:30 PM19:30

DENIAL: Being In It & Getting Out Of It

Ah yes! Denial. It’s so easy to hang out in denial because nothing has to happen there. We don’t have to do anything. We don’t have to admit anything. We don’t have say anything. It’s still. It’s safe. Sounds kind of awesome. Well at least for a little bit. Then at some point, hanging out in denial isn’t cool. Things start to bubble. They start to emerge. Then we might meet denial’s friend guilt and possibly shame. And possibly some other emotions too.

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GETTING STUCK: And Getting Unstuck
Jun
21
7:30 PM19:30

GETTING STUCK: And Getting Unstuck

That feeling of stillness and not sure what to do and just feeling stuck. And sometimes it’s not just stuck but it’s STUCK. CAPITAL LETTERS STUCK. Yeah. Let’s talk about this. Let’s have this convHERsation. Whether it’s with our mental state or physical state (Hint: It’s probably both), our job, our career, our family, our friends, our activity, our life path, or all of the above - we get this feeling from time to time.

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COURAGE: Finding It
Apr
12
7:30 PM19:30

COURAGE: Finding It

This is a SUPER SPECIAL event! Please join us. This is the 3rd ANNIVERSARY of ABOUT WOMEN. What up! 

First let me say that normally the ABOUT WOMEN events are on the 3rd Wednesday every month but this month it’s on the 2nd Wednesday of the month. Nikki will be out of town the 3rd week of April.

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GET YOUR SH#T TOGETHER: What's Stopping Us?
Mar
15
7:30 PM19:30

GET YOUR SH#T TOGETHER: What's Stopping Us?

We all feel that our shit isn’t together. And we all think that everyone else has THEIR shit together and we are the ones that are hot messes. No way. We are all works in progress.

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VUNERABILITY: We All Have It
Jan
28
7:30 PM19:30

VUNERABILITY: We All Have It

We are all vulnerable. And vulnerable means something different to different people. Men are. Women are. Physically. Mentally. Socially. Emotionally. You name it.  And being vulnerable is ok. It’s an aspect of being a human being. We are not robots. What does it mean to you?

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